-oOo-
It’s over
Searing pain. I felt searing pain down the left side of my midsection.
I’m not yet dead, am I?
“Uncle Steve?” asked Jason, my nephew breaking me out of my thoughts, “Should I call for Dr. Winters?”
“I don’t think it will help, Jason,” I replied, “when is my next dose?”
“In about an hour and a half.”
I sighed after hearing that. I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months ago, and within 4 weeks of that, everything deteriorated. You would have thought that more than 100 years after Henrietta Lacks’ cells were immortalized, we would have had a better understanding of cancer – enough to find its cure.
I was enrolled to try out a new therapy. Dr. Winters, my oncologist, is part of the clinical collaboration for new cancer therapies at NYU. He was to first give me a cocktail of pain relievers, followed by nanoparticles that supposedly target cancer cells, and then finally some revitalizing extracts from different sources including coconut, olives, and other organisms to help healthy cells survive the attack. While they have been successful in various animal models, there still wasn’t any success for human trials. Just my luck, I’ll either be the first human to live or just another data point in a publication. Ok, maybe not a data point, perhaps even just part of a data point
What was the point of the nanoparticle? I asked that too. They supposedly contain drugs that are specifically able to kill my cancer cells. How does it work? I think it works based on my cancer’s genome. They took some samples from me and sequenced it – kind of reminded me of my previous work as a technician in a molecular biology laboratory. Based on the sequence, they then loaded the nanoparticles with the appropriate drugs to kill my cancer cells. I would then pass out the nanoparticles within 24 hours of the dose through my urine.
Side effects? I would feel a lot of pain despite the painkillers, but if it worked perfectly, then they also assured me that all the cancer cells would clear up. Not an exact science, you see.
So that is my routine nowadays: Stay in bed, watch shows or movies, or read something, if I don’t pass out from the extreme pain.
“Jason, can you play the musical, ‘Rent’ on the system?” I requested.
“Sure, uncle Steve,” he said as he stood up and turned on the entertainment system to setup my favorite musical.
I then closed my eyes as I hear the familiar melodic introduction play. When Jason nudged me, I was already halfway through the second act – the part where Angel, a character in the story, was just about to die from AIDS.
“Uncle Steve, time for your meds. I just thought, I’d warn you.”
Robotic needles then emerged from the wall on the hospital room. They attached to my intravenous ports and started pumping my medicine.
I was in an anaesthetic haze, when I felt it: a sensory overdrive.
…hot, Hot, HOT! Sweat, sweet. Wet! Wet! Wet! Red heat…1
This must be what Angel felt like while he was dying.
After what I thought was an eternity, it’s over.
“Uncle Steve,” I heard Jason call me, “Are you okay? You looked extremely pained, but the doctors said this is normal.”
I couldn’t say anything. I was still recovering from the onslaught of pain. Why did I agree to this, again?
I just gave him a smile, as big as I could and then drifted off to sleep.
I jumped over the moon, a leap of mooooooooo! I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm white light And I swear Angel was there – and she looked GOOD! And she said, "Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song..."2
I woke up to the music of the Finale of Rent and saw Jason was there, holding my hand. My slight movement caused him to turn his attention to me.
“Hey Jason, what time is it?” I asked weakly.
“Oh, Uncle Steve! You’re awake!” he exclaimed, “You’ve been out for almost two days.”
“That long, huh?”
“Yeah,” he said as he calmed down a bit, “I was worried that you won’t wake up again, so yesterday they took you out to do imaging scans.
“And what did Dr. Winters say?”
“He hasn’t been back yet to see you, so I don’t know, Uncle. I just think that these treatments seem to make you worse, and that really scares me.”
“Well we have to wait for their explanation,” I said and then tried to assure him, “You know I’m ready: I’ve lived a good life, I enjoyed my work, I know you’ll be perfectly capable of living on your own when I’m gone.”
“Don’t say that, Uncle.”
“Well, it is true,” I continued trying hard to fight back tears, “After your parents’ accident, I vowed to do my best to raise you, and you’ve done me proud.”
“Awhh, Uncle, don’t make me cry.”
Suddenly, Dr. Winters entered the room in a quite distressed state, “I have some news for you.”
Jason and I froze for a few seconds upon hearing this. Could it be THAT bad?
“Please continue, Dr. Winters,” I finally said.
“Well, as you may now know, we did some tests on you after you took the last dose almost two days ago,” he started, “Based on those tests, we will not be administering anymore doses.”
“Is there really no hope?” I asked politely, “I believe I still have one more dose to go.”
His face relaxed and his lips formed into a smile as he said, “Don’t worry Steve, it’s over.”
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1 lyrics from the song, “Contact” from Rent, the Musical, words and music by Jonathan Larson
2 lyrics from the song, “Finale B” from Rent, the Musical, words and music by Jonathan Larson
-oOo-
Special thanks to Olivia Buenafe and David Peralta for the comments and helping me improve the story.
I also decided that I'll try to write a few stories to improve my skill, so there will be more in the future. :D
Sir Unsay <3 I loved it! It's pretty educational too! :D
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